Join the Serene Dominic 24/7 Club today!

“Be a pop music snob!”

…says award winning writer, author, musician and rock and roll sneerster Serene Dominic.

How many times has this happened to you—you’re at a party, the subject turns to music and you blurt out bland opinions like “There’ll never be another band like the Beatles” or “Thank goodness the Eagles patched up their differences so they’re back to doing what they do best.”  Chances are people stopped listening to your opinion right after you said “Well, if you ask me…” But that’s another story.

It’s for people like you who aspire to beige that we, in conjunction with Bendi Records, have created  The Serene Dominic 24/7 Club. As a public service to tastemakers everywhere, Mr. Dominic, noted rock historian and musician in his own right, is eager to share his encyclopedic pop knowledge about obscure musical acts no one has ever heard of so that YOU, cherished subscriber, can better your station in life.

Each week for 24 weeks, The Serene Dominic 24/7 Club will send subscribers free of charge:

• A free downloadable track from the as-yet-unreleased Serene Dominic Presents 24 Originals Happening Now CD
• A bonus b-side of dubious distinction and debatable value
• A pre-worn cyber picture sleeve viewable in iTunes
• A detailed artist bio on these great and unjustly obscure recording artists written by award winning rock snob Serene Dominic
• Links to music videos by said unjustly obscure recording artists

Watch the respect for your musical acumen accrue when you champion criminally ignored performers like The Lazyfaires, Thumpkins Whereabouts, The Makeup Sects and Roscoe DesMoines that most rock historians have never bothered to name-check. Instead of admitting the last album you bought was The Very Best of Steve Miller, you could be making a case for the merits of Stephen Oddysey, Brooklyn Beard and Manalone. And winning that argument, we might add, thus, insuring your rock snobbery title is still in good standing.

Subscribe NOW! Because you kids refuse to buy music, we refuse to sell it!

Bendi Records / The Serene Dominic 24/7 Club

Serene Dominic Whoreblog for March 11, 2010

Google Image standing as of March 9, 2011.

UPDATE: I may not amount to a pile of dust and bones in the end but for now when you Google Image the word  “Snob” my picture now comes in SECOND, pulling ahead of Cartoon Guy but still just behind Obama. Number 2 for the world, people! Two insufferable slots ahead of Gwyneth Paltrow and since she’s gotten a record deal, I suspect she will be breathing down cartoon guy’s neck very shortly. And do note that since the Commander-in-Chief is an artist rendering, my smug mug in a smoking jacket and ascot is the first real photographic proof of snobbery you will see in the real world.

How did this happen? In 1997 I wrote a very brief column for Phoenix New Times called  “A Snob’s Guide to Rock.” From there I used it on various Serene Dominic websites and now whenever somebody posts an offensively self- satisfied comment on a blog or news article, this is the picture they frequently use. This may not seem huge to you but look at it this way— out of 2,120,000 results, I’m the third most recognized snob in the known Google Universe!!!! Liberals use me to send up  Tea Party loonies, and right wingnuts use me to beat down Dems. And me, like Casper the Friendly Ghost, caught in the middle just trying to be friendly. And look, I’m even spawning imitators, look at Number 4 Pipe guy!! DORK!

Perhaps the reason for the increase in hits is due to the fact that I am joining  in with you users and hijacking my snooty likeness for my upcoming CD, 24 Originals Happening Now. Also, I’ve started a YouTube channel where you can see videos for each of the 24 songs before the month is up. Subscribe Now! This one goes out to my Facebook friends. See if you can see your name. Rest assured you are still in good standing.


Day 21: Serene starts a fake charity single

As far as automation mixing  is concerned, I couldn’t have picked a worse song to accidentally press the Automation Button in Record/Reason, than “Let’s See Other People,” the ersatz “We are the World” charity single anthem that closes the first half of the 24 song program. My original idea was to hold a party, invite a bunch of friends to clap and step up to the microphone and sing an insensitive line or two and that would make up the fictitious “Friends of Antarctica.” But time would not allow such a luxury so I spent most of this weekend piling on the handclaps and vocals to get an ego-filled chorale from hell.

And I’ve got to admit, it was quite a lot of fun putting the names of “Michael McDonald,” “Patti LaBelle” “Brother Ray” and “Cyndi Lauper” on the tracks where I tried to emulate them to get it to sound like not six dozen of me. Then I realized it would be great to sample Barbra Streisand doing the word “pee-pulllll!” at the end so I sampled her off YouTube, the 1964 Broadway Funny Girl version if you care, and slapped Babs into the fray.

What I hadn’t anticipated was accidentally triggering the automation button and after copying tracks that all had it selected, it was literally as if every one wanted to hog the mike and turn their faders up at the most inopportune time. Brother Ray and Michael M were the worst offenders in this respect and I just went in and deleted a lot of parts but there are still some “celebrity goobers” ruining every mix. I anticipated trouble from Patti Labelle, who went down as the big hog the mc lady for her efforts on this and Live Aid, so I left her caterwauling scream for the very end.

My voice has bounded back and I will probably lose it again after Wednesday’s show but I’m almost done all of my tracking on that front. But now I’ve opened up the invitation to a few fellow RPM Challengers but with only  a few days left, I’m not holding my breathe.

Day 15: THE SONG PROGRESS THREAT ALERT CHART

Fig 1

Since we are passed the half-way mark on the RPM Challenge, I’ve devised a song progress chart based on the much beloved NATIONAL THREAT ALERT LEVELS (see Figure 1) and its color codes to help me and other home recorders like me from getting stuck and running out of time. The great thing about such a challenge is that the strict deadline does wonders for your creativity. At least it does for me. As you can see from my checklist, I’m in pretty good shape, with only one song in RED ALERT (The much-threatened Italian ballad which is sure to be dropped from the final 24 if my collaboration with Danish popmeister Monopoli shows up in the next week. Seven songs are in GREEN ALERT, meaning all they need is a final vocal and mix, ten songs in BLUE ALERT (requiring a guest musician to finish tracking on this song.This week will be the cutoff point for that and after that I’ll have to assume those duties myself.

Fig. 2

The newest song “Queensbury Rules” understandably needs more work as I’m still figuring the structure out and finalizing parts  so it gets a YELLOW ALERT along with “Agony” which needs some lyrics scribbled down and “Eye Throb” which just needs some snipping and editing on the drum parts. Needing more than a few re-recorded parts are  “Strength Was Always Your Weakness,”  “That Longing” and two others coming in for ORANGE ALERT.

Day 10: How much time do you spend on a song?

Given the nature of a 24 song album, there is a bit of “OK, that’s good enough, move on to the next one” involved. Having demo’d everything in GarageBand with beats and rhythm tracks, it’s left me with more time for fine tuning. Or not so fine tuning. Tried fooling with the vocoder to see if I could get my voice to sound like a woman. And it worked. Except that woman is Katherine Hepburn circa On Golden Pond. Not really the voice I needed for “Independent Thought” but it might work for “Eye Throb” or “Maintenance.” Cut vocals for the latter, which is supposed to be my “electroclash” song for the set but with the acoustic guitar, it sounds kinda like TimBuk 3.

This is kinda like my White Album beacause it’s so many songs and so all over the place. If anything broke up the Beatles, it’s the amount of days and nights Paul forced the others to play “Obla-Di Obla-Da” over and over.  Things haven’t gotten that tense yet but so far the song that could force me to break up is “Yellow Shampoo.” It’s missing something (keys?? helium voices???). I’ve done a little tinkering with it every night this week and it’s not finished. Spent the bulk of tonight cutting vocals and pasting in little backwards horns and vocals from a Christmas record (“Jingo Jango” by Bert Kaempfert for those people who collect such information.” “Independent Thought” also features a sample from The Magic of Christmas, a 3-record Columbia House compilation that I conveniently digitized for my family this yuletide with all the original 1972 crackles and skips intact.)

I think I’ve finally dialed in “Your Heart Ain’t Saying What Your Mouth Is Thinking,” save for one or two vocal inconsistencies you can hear on this hasty video of it!

Diary of an Album Blog: 28 Songs in 24 Days!

The proposed album cover!

serenedominic‘s player:

For the second year in a row, Serene Dominic has taken on the RPM Challenge and recording an album from start to finish in the month of February. This time he’s doing a 24 song psuedo “various artists” compilation that will assume a different stylistic sound on every cut.

Follow the day-to-day progress with his daily slog, I mean blog and new postings of demos and mixes on the jukebox.

Day 1: Have your filler material ready!
Day 2: Real Revolting or How about those Egyptians?
Day 3: Prog Rock Progress Report
Day 4: When in doubt, speak sing it!
Days 5 & 6: Record/Reason & the Lava Lamp- it’s on!
Day 7 : Thanks Andy Samford & the Emergency Broadcast System
Day 8:  My son gets the recording bug!
Day 9: This one is for the RPM Ladies!
Day 10: How much time do you spend on a song?
Day 11: Songs are making me late for work!
Days 12-14: What the %#@*@ does Steampunk sound like?
Day 15: The Song Threat Alert Level Chart!

2006: Adult Contemptuous – Serene Dominic & The Semi Detached

Recorded in 1997 and 1998, but sadly fell through the cracks when the Worrybird label began having financial woes and Serene went through some personal upheavals which seem predicted by the songs he was sitting on. Serene was struggling with being an adult and letting go of the childish behavior that goes hand in hand with rock and roll, and this record captures that. At the same time the scattering of the Semi-Detached across this great land of ours began to happen. These are the last recordings, done in a marathon session while bassist Charles Seeley moved to New Jersey and work was done on the tracks intermittently for the next few years.

Adult Contemptuous was finally made availalble in its original format and sequence and original artwork by Bendi Records on April 10, 2006

1. KTWC
2. The Uncontrollable Woman
3. Solar System
4. Autumn Teen Sound
5. Qualified To Love
6. Valley Idiot
7. Kissing Booth
8. Adults In Love/Love Me Down
9. (I Can’t Take) More Tough Love
10. Act Like You’re My Baby
11. Beauty Sleep
12. Love & Fury
13. The Woe Finish

Serene Dominic Whoreblog for January 20, 2011

Photo by Leanne Van Camp. Notice how much whiter the spotlight looks It's because Serene spilled a pint of confetti that later took over 20 minutes for him to vacuum!

Thanks to everyone who came down to the Lost Leaf last night (Jan 19) to hang with two Serene Dominic alter-egos, The Human Torch and Manalone. Because we pride ourselves on statistics here at the Appreciation Society, you’ll note that Manalone did his customary 40 minute set while the Human Torch managed a sprawling one hour, 22 minutes and 8 second show, including four new songs*, two that didn’t even have proper lyrics yet. SPOILER ALERT: He tossed in the words to Barry Manilow’s “Mandy”  every time he got stuck for new verses.

Serene returns to the Lost Leaf  on February 17 for two sets, solo and with M.B.E. If you missed it, and if I know human nature you did, here’s a set list for last night’s show.

Manalone set:
The Lights Go Down and Out
Unfriend Me
Me & My Big Heart
Reaching for a Memory in the Fire
The Evil All Men Do (Bacharach medley)
You Folks Look Wonderful From Here
The Silent Clowns
Dress You Paint You
I’m a Taker

Human Torch set
Foolish Foolish Girl
This is a Man’s World
The Uncontrollable Woman
A Whiter Shade of Pale
If Tallelulah Was Mine*
My Secret Life
Afraid of the Sun
Solar System
What Are You In For?*
Drop of a Hat
I’ve Got So Much to Forgive*
|A Man Without Love (inst)
Your Heart Won’t Say What Your Mind Is Thinking*
The Desperate Hours
You’re the Woman Trapped Inside a Man
I Want To Hold Your Hand
Little Child
Qualified to Love
Thunderball
Unfriend Me
The Lights Go Down and Out
The Way You Look Tonight
I’m Your Creation
Beauty Sleep

First time performances indicated in gray with asterisk *, see?

Serene Dominic Whoreblog for Dec. 23, 2010

Like most of you, I am knee deep in Christmas right now, buying last minute gifts right down to the last minute, decorating the tree and putting up the festive lights. OK, I left them up from last year so I wouldn’t have to do that but everything else is still a go.

If you believe there is a war on Christmas then read no further. If, like me, you  feel everyone should have their moment in the sun so to speak, I bring up Horus, the Egyptian sun god and spawn of Isis.  Right in the middle of my holiday reverie, my friend Joe Nugent calls to point out the similarities between Horus and Jesus Christ. Apparently Horus must’ve tested poorly over the centuries because no one on earth celebrates Horusmas now. And when was the last time your employer gave you a Horusmas bonus anyway? Probably never, I’ll venture to guess.

But in the interest of equal time in this season of religious tolerance AND global warming, maybe we oughta at least have a couple of Horusmas carols on deck to celebrate the coming of the sun and the hope for future fertility. I’m sure Santa, Frosty, Rudolph and the Little Drummer Boy won’t mind sharing the spotlight with Horus. This is a rough approximation of what I imagine a god who looks like he struts around the town square in Earth Wind & Fire leisurewear might enjoy hearing. Ladies and gentlemen, feel free to pen your own lyrics to the jollity that is “Here Comes Horus (click here, heathen!).”

Serene Dominic Whoreblog for Dec. 1, 2010

Is December is the cruelest month or is it the Yulest month? I forget. T.S. Eliot said the cruelest month was April and since he’s dead I’m inclined to believe him.

But for me, December will go down as the coolest month. I’ll be doing two sets at Plush in Tucson on Wednesday, December 1. This will not only be the first time I’ve performed my one man show in Tucson but also the first time I do two entirely different sets as two entirely different people. Mya haha ha ha! I’m really excited to be bringing “The Manalone Show” plus “The Everything’s Fine or Your Monkey Back” show there, along with a bunch of new songs like  “My Secret Life” which I will giveaway FREE  as a special commemorative CD single free to everyone who buys an “Manalone” CD. That’s the plan anyway and I’m going to try and include as many recorded versions of the songs used in both sets on the “Manalone” CD.

And  for you, Phoenicians, I will be appearing at the Alwun House on Saturday, December 4 as part of the Lighthouse art show. I’ll be performing my “Afraid of the Sun” show and will have two UV light paintings hanging in the Gallery along with 20 other artists tripping the light fantastic. One, pictured here in its unfinished state is “Weekend Vampire/Weakened Vampire” that grows fangs under UV light. The other, “And Then There’s Fraud…” is a UV painting of the late Bea Arthur who also reveals her true identity under harmful ultraviolet rays!

And I’ll be giving away a My Secret Life EP to commemorate that show to anyone who comes up to me and says “Fangs a Lot.”

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